Portfolio

Award-winning writer, celebrated humorist, and conceptual genius.


WORK

Client: Tobacco Road Sports Cafe
My very first assignment for Tobacco Road Sports Cafe was the challenge of packing both bars to capacity for the 2010 World Cup match between England and the United States and maximizing liquor and food sales. As a 7 to 1 underdog, it was quite unlikely that the U.S. would win the match, so we advertised that if the U.S. beat England, we would comp any food ordered during the match. Both locations filled up before game time and 400 people ordered $30,000 worth of food by half-time (in addition to $8,000 in liquor sales). To cover ourselves in the case of a U.S. win, we placed a $1,500 bet beforehand at 7 to 1, which, at $10,500, would have recouped the food cost and still netted a nice profit.

Client: Greg Brainos
I wanted to see if I could raise my own public profile and reach one million people without spending a single penny. I wrote a humorous ad, disguised as a serious ad, and posted it on Craigslist. Within one day, it had gone viral on Facebook and I was being solicited by radio stations to be a guest on their shows. By the end of the week, over one million people had been exposed to my ad and my name was all over the internet.

Screencap of “Test Subject Needed for Time Machine”

Reddit thread

Jezebel article

BuzzFeed article

Fark thread


ARTICLES

The Fail Proof Resume

A Quick and Basic Guide to Craps

Human Girl, I’m Encouraging You to Not Date that Teenage Vampire

This Will Not End Well

Anti-Depressants Sold Seperately


WITTICISMS

For Sale: Hemingway’s Shotgun, Used Once (a collection of my most popular tweets)

Headlines written for The Onion

Video script written for The Onion News Network


VIDEOS

Montage of Hall & Oates Writing a Montage Song (“You Make My Dreams”)

Obama Election Rap

The Silver Surfer Sings Love Ballads


COMICS

8.-meet-nephew-todd

BANANAS FOSTER by Greg Brainos and Max Huffman


RESUME

Greg Brainos
919.824.4109
gabrainos@gmail.com

AWARDS & DISTINCTIONS
WORKAHOLICS: BRING YOUR KID TO WORK DAY — spec script
Winner, Austin Film Festival 2015

THE HOTLINE — comedy feature
2nd-rounder, Austin Film Festival 2015

NEW GIRL: THE PERFECT SCHMIDT — spec script
2nd-rounder, Austin Film Festival 2016

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
Freelance, 
Stand-up Comedian / Writer
December 2006 – Present

• Perform at clubs, colleges, and private events
     • Opened for such notables as Mike Birbiglia, Kumail Nanjiani, and Bobcat Goldthwait
• Write humorous articles, screenplays, and sketches
• In-house writer for virtual reality studio SmashVR

PT Gaming, Corporate Trainer
Torrance, CA; March 2015 – May 2016
• Trained new employees on all casino table games and company guidelines
• Participated as a third party proposition player in high-stakes private games when needed

iT People Corporation, Content and Marketing Consultant
Morrisville, NC; September 2012 – April 2013
• Created content for mobile game app
• Formulated and implemented marketing strategies

Tobacco Road Sports Cafe, Brand Strategist
Raleigh, NC; May 2010 – April 2013
• Devised “one of the best marketing strategies of all-time” to pack their restaurant with customers
• Managed social media and monitored consumer reviews
• Won eight awards for the restaurant, including “Best Sports Bar” and “Best Restaurant”

EDUCATION
North Carolina State University
Bachelor of Arts in Communications, 2004
• Served as President of the Public Relations Student Society of America

SKILLS
Branding, Creative Solutions, Social Media, Final Draft, Literary Analysis, Proofreading

INTERESTS
TV & Film, Sports, Video Games, Politics, Thought Experiments, Poker, Harmontown

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