The field is finally set for the 1st Annual Free Dinner Horse Race and it is STACKED. Here are the horses, their odds to win, and a quick summary.
1- UNICORN BARBIE 3/1
Easily the most talented horse in this race, but can it keep its focus?
2- SILVER 4/1
The Lone Ranger’s trusty steed is the most consistent runner of the field.
3- MY LITTLE PONY 5/1
The early favorite is quickly turning into a longshot after losing her brush on Friday.
4- JOAN RIVERS 6/1
This evil horse-face will do ANYTHING to win.
5- MELISSA RIVERS 8/1
6- MR. ED 10/1
Everyone’s favorite talking horse has been more than disappointing in practice runs.
7- BABE 12/1
This pig LOVES to enter competitions in which it doesn’t belong! But will that do?
8- DREAMER 16/1
An appropriate name for this longshot ridden by first-time jockey Dakota Fanning.
Here’s how this will work: everyone gets $100 in virtual cash (you’re welcome). Bet however you’d like; you can put it all on one horse to win, you can spread it out over several horses, you can box a trifecta (top three horses) for a whopping payday, however you want to bet it.
The race will be virtually simulated the evening of Sunday, May 3rd, around 7pm EST. I will record the race and post the video here on the site so you can see your horse(s) win or perform in such a manner that will lead to their slaughter.
I will buy dinner for the person that wins the greatest amount of money. If you live far away, I will mail you a gift card and you can call me on the phone as you’re eating your celebratory dinner.
Send me your picks in whatever form you’d like. E-mail me, Twitter DM me, Facebook message me, drive to my house and throw a rock through my window with your picks attached me, etc.
This is going to be fun! HORSIES!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!